The greatest hell is situations that you can't take back. And I'm caught up in a bunch of situations that I can't take back. Everyone tries to live a life with no regrets but I am beginning to see that that is almost impossible. We can be thankful for everything that we go through because it fashions and shapes us in to who we are supposed to be. But what about who we became? Who we are? I had and have a most promising future, but my past hinders me.
I want to say that everything will be okay and everything will get greater later, but to say all that and to mean it takes great sacrifices on my behalf and the behaves of others. In this case, I have no control over the behaves of others, so I can only speak on mine.
I'm in a situation where I have to think and take care of the well being of myself and my two daughter because the mother of my children thinks just because I'm here and she foots the bill for all the finances that she doesn't have to take part in the raising of our children, mine and hers. I'm a father to her son when she doesn't wants me to be.
But her son is the brother of my daughters and his father is not there for him like he is supposed to be. By me being here I can't even be a father to my own son that is down south. But I'm working hard to establish that relationship with him.
Ultimately for me to be there for everyone that I'm supposed to be there for, I have to cut everyone off and be there for God and myself. I have to put god in my life before I allow anyone else in my life and I'm not talking about the church. I'm talking about god himself.
I have to allow him to do what needs to be done in my life so that I can move on to do what needs to be done in the life of others. I'm working hard but I'm also working alone, but as I have god I am never alone. Thank y'all for listening.
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